she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
