Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
