the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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