foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
