so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
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There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize