he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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