First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize