This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room