Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.