He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.