ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol