Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
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That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!