Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize