So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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