Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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