oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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