i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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