Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
