I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
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Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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