i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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