We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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