I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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