drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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