Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am available for nakedness
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
