i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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