That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
