i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize