I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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