Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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