He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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