so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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