Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize