Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize