I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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