she looked like the bat from fern gully.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
