Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.