Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize