my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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