Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
