Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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