just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just google imaged poop.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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