How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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