There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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