we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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