In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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