I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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