New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
