Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.