Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?