I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
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When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
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She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.