Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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