Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There r osticjed everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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