singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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