it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
