The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
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Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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